Conditional Surrender Read online

  `Caroline was a last-ditch effort to keep me away from you, but it never stood a chance. The whole damned affair only lasted a month—if that, whatever she may have intimated to the contrary.'

  `Oh!' Kate's eyes had begun to take on the green glow Caroline's name invariably produced, but Greg's assertion gave her pause. 'I thought it was a long-standing sort of thing. After all, you met her when you first moved here . .

  `I can assure you, my first reactions to you were too overpowering for me to notice any signals she might have been sending my way!' he assured her with a dry intonation. `I bumped into her—oh, about fifteen, sixteen months later. Kate . .

  `Well, as long as you promise never ever to mention that name again . .

  `I promise.' He raised his hands in a gesture of truce, only to lower them again immediately to frame her face lovingly. `You're like a miracle to me, my darling. So warm—so giving. The first time I kissed you, I felt as if I'd truly found my home.'

  Kate's eyes misted at the loving words so alien to him .. . until they registered. She sat up straighter in surprise, trying to ignore the uncomfortable sensations around her middle section. This was far more interesting!'

  `Are you saying you've loved me since then?'

  Greg sighed. 'Long before that, probably—I just didn't recognise the fact. You scared the hell out of me when I first set eyes on you. Yes, you did,' he persisted at her snort of disbelief. `You looked up from your desk . . .' he tugged her hair loose from its restraining ponytail `. . . and these little wisps of hair were framing your face. And you were smiling so damned provocatively.'

  `I was not!' she retorted indignantly. 'I was just being my natural charming self ' She pulled a face at him. 'And you looked down your arrogant nose and scared me half to death. I guess I knew then you were going to have a great impact on my

  life.'

  `You too?' Greg smiled at her resigned nod. 'Well, that was the first of my plans you ruined. I'd decided to begin a new business venture once the Midlands Office was set up. As a matter of fact, that was the main reason for moving—the Midlands being an area of high unemployment . . .' It was then he noticed Kate's mouth was gaping open.

  `How could you leave your own firm?' she squeaked.

  `Very easily, Kate my love. Courtney's is so well oiled it practically runs itself. The challenge had gone out of it. Until I saw you . . . and thought I'd stick around for a while to see what developed.'

  `Considering how expendable you thought you were, you certainly kept me busy! All those evening conferences . . .' Kate stopped abruptly, noticing a flicker of guilt pass over his face. `They weren't necessary at all, were they?'

  Greg shifted uncomfortably but finally confessed, 'I overheard you making a date . .

  `Oh, you . . .!' Words failed her, but Greg breathed a sigh of relief at the teasing glint in her eyes—confident she could now forgive him anything. Which she would, now she had her life back.

  `I hadn't been moulding you into the sort of woman I thought I needed for someone else to reap the rewards!' There was a logic about that she was rather afraid she understood. 'Anyway, rest assured the firm made tremendous profits last year from all those extra hours we put in.'

  `You're outrageous!'

  `And you wouldn't change.' Greg shook his head in mute wonder. 'I kept piling extra responsibilities on you, but you stayed the same sweetly vulnerable girl you'd always been—under that terrifying efficiency, of course.'

  `Hah! Terrifying my foot! I was scared stiff you'd realise you'd made a big mistake promoting me, and I'd lose all that money. We needed it.'

  `Mm, I know that now—but then I was too aware of the fact that I could hurt you badly. Kate, my love!' he cried out as a spasm of pain hit her. 'What is it?'

  `I'm all right!' she protested. 'I just felt a bit weird . .

  Greg picked her up as if she was a featherweight rather than a waddling elephant, and carried her upstairs into the master bedroom suite, laying her on the king-sized bed as if she were porcelain.

  Kate looked around her with interest. This room was a facsimile of the one she had decorated at the apartment. All the furniture was the same—but there was one addition, hanging in pride of place on the wall facing the bed. Her portrait sketch of him.

  `Dammit all! I knew you should never have made that journey!' he burst out, raking angry fingers through his hair. Kate reached up a hand to pull him to her.

  `Are you saying you wished I hadn't come?' she teased.

  `Lord, no!' He looked appalled at the thought. 'I don't think I could have stood this half-life much longer.' He stretched out beside her, cradling her head against his chest as he played with her hair. 'You can't imagine how often I've lain here wishing you were beside me again.' He nodded towards the portrait. 'I'd stare and stare at that picture, praying that the love you felt when you sketched it was too strong to die. And, when the uncertainty got too great. I'd drive hell for leather to Wales to see you. I nearly asked you to come back several times—but I knew it wasn't right to take you back to the apartment, and this place was uninhabitable until last week . .

  He laid her back on the pillow, not giving her a chance to speak, but lowering his head to lips parted and waiting for his.

  `Are you sure you're all right, love?' he asked worriedly a little while later.

  `I am now,' she whispered happily, cuddling closer to him. `It's just backache, mainly.'

  `Here?'

  `Mm. That's better!' She arched against his gently rubbing hand.

  `Yeah—well, be a good girl and stop wriggling, will you? You know,' he murmured musingly after a while, 'that day I walked into your office to find you punching Toby Marchant on the jaw was the great turning point.'

  `It was for me too,' Kate murmured drily.

  `I'd waited so long for a break in that cool façade, I pounced

  the moment it cracked.'

  `You certainly did!' she smiled, but Greg's face was set in more serious lines.

  `One little taste and you took me over. I felt like a damned teenager again, losing control every time I came near you.'

  Hah! You couldn't prove it by me!' She snuggled further back against him. 'You were a master manipulator. I never knew what you'd do next.'

  `Neither did I,' he complained bitterly. 'All I could think about was making love to you—being inside you. I was obsessed, Kate. I knew I was turning into a monster, but I couldn't stop. I've never needed anyone before—it's pretty scary.

  `So—I started planning the best way to get on a more personal footing with you—you know, all nice and slow and easy. Then I was handed the perfect opportunity.'

  `Dad!'

  `Yes.' He sighed heavily. 'I don't know if you can believe this, but I would never have used that contract against your family. I was going to tell you how wrong you were when I thought it was the perfect way to stop you loving me.'

  `I worked that out ages ago, love. Just before I admitted to myself that I was well and truly hooked on you,' Kate told him softly. 'It was something Terry said—about my being unable to marry for anything but love—and everything clicked into place. I grabbed at that contract as an excuse to give in.'

  `It seems we owe a lot to Terry, one way or another.'

  Kate had to smile at his disgusted expression. 'As Terry would say—that's what friends are for. Were you really jealous of him? I still can't quite believe that, you know.'

  Greg shot her a dry look. 'Not of Terry, per se. Though I must admit there were moments . . . You were so comfortable with him, my love. I also knew he was much more your type than a cold bastard like me!'

  `Hey!' she admonished him sharply. 'No one insults the man I love!'

  He cleared his throat. 'Well, meeting him brought all my plans forward, until you messed them up again! I fully intended to make love to you that first night at the apartment . .

  `Well, you could have,' she assured him.

  `Dear heaven—I swear I will never know how I let you go th
at night! But if you'd seen your face—so full of panic and a sort of wonder . . .' He hugged her close in apology. 'I'd never much cared for anyone's feelings before. But you were so open, so honest, I felt I had to give you the opportunity to decide for yourself '

  Kate bristled a little indignantly at that. 'But I said no, Greg.'

  His lips quirked in a purely masculine smile. 'You didn't really imagine I'd leave it there? Even as I was mouthing that damned proposition, I knew it would never be enough—for either of us. In my arrogance, I decided marriage was the answer—both to your need for commitment and as a salve to my conscience. But you came back with all those good sound reasons why we shouldn't get involved. You gave me some bad moments there, Kate. Not least of all because you were right.

  `And then, of course, I found I'd underestimated that filthy temper of yours . . .' He ducked, protecting his face with his arms as she made a threatening gesture.

  `Oh, Greg, I hated the way you could make me feel with one

  touch. It went against everything I believed in. I thought I was

  going mad . . . I suppose I was really. Mad about you!' For which piece of honesty Kate was well rewarded. `You remember that time you were ill?'

  She nodded. 'Yes. That was the first time I thought marriage to you might not be too bad after all. You looked after me so nicely.'

  `Those were my orders,' he reminded her of Alissa's strictures. 'But that was the time I began to admit what was happening to me. I sat with you while you slept and this little voice kept whispering in my ear that it would be safe to love you . .

  `But you didn't know if it was safe for me to love you?' she hazarded, strangely loving him more for his protective attitude towards her, despite the pain it had caused her.

  `I was so torn, Kate. Nothing has ever lasted in my life—the one thing that had always challenged me was building the firm, but even that had begun to pall. When your parents walked in on us, I persuaded myself it was better that way—that if I could stop you getting too close, we could both walk away with

  minimal scars when it was over. But I hadn't taken into account your determination to do the opposite. When you told me on our wedding night that I would have to take from you, I realised how empty my victory was.'

  `So you made sure I started giving?' she said drily.

  `But you didn't really—Oh yes, you were very sweetly responsive, gloriously so, in fact—but I began to long for you to take the initiative That night after I'd hurt my knee . .

  Kate's eyes lowered demurely. 'I'd just admitted I loved you—it seemed the right thing to do at the time.'

  `And it became my most treasured memory.' His lips curved reminiscently, his voice becoming a husky groan. 'Oh, Kate! I thought we'd reached the heights before,' his voice shook with remembered passion, the emotion darkening his eyes all that Kate had ever desired. 'You were so shy—and so damned sexy. I could feel you blushing all the time . . .' He grinned in delight as a new blush made an inevitable appearance. 'I knew then you loved me. You couldn't possibly have behaved so . .

  `Wantonly?' Kate suggested, green eyes dancing.

  `Mmm, that will do,' he smiled lovingly. 'I'd suspected it the day before—when I saw how you'd decorated our room. It was as if you were telling me you'd be with me forever.' He spread his hands wide. 'I was lost, my love. I was such a novice. You seemed content to let things drift, so I went along with it—terrified to rock the boat. I don't know even now how I stopped myself blurting it out when you told me about the baby. I was so relieved—I thought, that's it! She'll never leave me now . . . And then you found this place for us.' He leaned over her to frame her face with shaking fingers. 'I felt the same about it as you. As soon as you drew those sketches showing what it could be like. And I was petrified! You were tying chains around me so securely—your sweet self, our child, this place. I'd never imagined myself a family man. But I had this dreadful vision of everything being snatched away from me . . .' His hold on her tightened convulsively. 'It had happened so many times with my mother—she'd come back from one of her jaunts and everything would be sweetness and light for a while, then wham! Our lives would fall apart again.

  `I wanted to wrap you in cotton wool—instead of which you

  were tearing around like a mad thing—and when you declared your intention of doing some of the decorating yourself . . .' his brows lowered. 'I thought if you were to lose the baby then I'd lose my hold on you. And instead I had to throw you away myself ' He sighed with bitter regret. Kate opened her mouth to tell him to stop torturing himself this way, but said nothing, knowing all the bitterness had to be removed from his system before their new life could begin.

  `I wish I could make you understand, Kate. When I saw you in Terry's arms, heard those words, I saw red. I didn't know how to handle vulnerability, but I think I must have gone a little mad. I locked myself in the office and paced the floor all morning. The firm—everything I'd spent my life working to achieve could have gone to the devil—but losing you . . .' He shuddered

  `Then I got angry—furious! I was damned if I was going to allow you to walk out of my life. So I called . .' he stopped as he felt her stiffen warningly . . that woman. I thought I could make you suffer a little of the jealous hell I was going through. I nearly called it off when I saw how ill you looked, but those words kept going through my mind . . .

  `When I saw that sketch and realised what I'd thrown away because of my own inability to trust in your love . . .' His voice broke and he laid his head on Kate's soft breasts.

  She held him to her tightly. 'I wanted to show you that my love for you was as permanent as that for my family.'

  `I know,' he sighed, and raised his head, still tormented. 'You looked as—broken as my father had the day my mother finally left. That's the main reason I didn't tell you then. I had to be certain I could be the sort of man who could share his life . . You wouldn't have left me for a moment if you'd known the truth, would you?'

  She did not need to think. 'No.'

  `I needed this time to prove my love in the same way you had. One half of me kept saying you were better off without me—all I ever seemed to do was cause you pain. And I guess I needed to know what hell it was to live without you.

  `I left you alone for as long as I could stand. But when your parents suggested staying with you over Christmas I jumped at

  the chance. I didn't know what to think when I saw you again—you were so beautiful, and so cool. You were obviously managing very well without me. I fully intended to leave you alone, but you touched me, and I was lost—again.' A sensuous smile crept over his face. 'I do hope you're going to make a habit of seducing me, Mrs Courtney!'

  `You conceited . . .!'

  `Oh, Kate!' he hugged her close. 'Those stolen weekends with you kept me sane! They gave me hope that all was not lost.'

  `Same here,' she agreed ruefully. 'I could no more resist you than . . . control my temper!'

  `Well, that augurs well for the future—I think!' he teased. `Greg?' she asked some blissful moments later. 'How did you get the house done so quickly?'

  `I finally got around to asking a few favours. Marie and your mother acted on your designs . .

  `Oh, yes, that reminds me. What did you tell them about our separation?'

  `The truth!' Kate gasped. 'More or less, anyway,' he continued. 'At first I spun them a yarn about not wanting you to tire yourself out doing the house up—but your mother saw through that straight away. She came round to the apartment determined to get to the bottom of it.'

  `Oh dear!' groaned Kate, even more so when he added:

  `I was drunk! Quite a woman, your mother.' Kate nodded. Lecture number six, she decided. She was wrong.

  `She gave me hell! Until she saw that sketch, then she said, very quietly, "Do you love my daughter, Gregory?" And I said, "Yes, quite desperately." Then she nodded and said, "Then I trust you will put matters right." And she's never mentioned it again!' Greg sounded quite bewildered, but Kate under
stood.

  `That's quite a compliment, you know. She wouldn't allow just anyone to hurt me!' The laughter in her voice took the sting out of the words, but Greg looked at her with something approaching awe.

  `I always wondered what it would be like to be part of a loving family. I guess—I guess I'm finally getting to know. Oh, it feels good, Kate!'

  `I know. I wish I could have known your father,' she said

  wistfully.

  `You've given him back to me, Kate, as the strong, proud man he really was. You've taught me that love—real love—strengthens, not weakens. Can you imagine the strength of character he must have had to send my mother away at the time he needed her most?'

  `As you had the strength to send me away, my darling.'

  He showed her over the house some time later. The top floor had yet to be touched, but Kate found herself delighted by the nursery Greg had decorated entirely alone.

  `I know you'd decided on this as a dressing-room, but I thought it better to have the baby next to us.' His eyes sought her approval, which was readily given. The room was decorated in brightly patterned wallpaper, two huge mobiles hanging from the ceiling. He had also purchased a crib and low chair and a mountain of baby clothes—everything Kate had been too self-absorbed to think about.

  `You don't mind the changed wallpaper? The books I read said bright colours were stimulating . . .' Greg held himself with great restraint as Kate succumbed to a fit of the giggles. 'Yes, well, it helped to pass the time.'

  She threw her arms about his neck, hugging him fiercely. `Oh, Greg! It's not so bad—loving me, is it?'

  `It's been hell!' he groaned in a strangled voice. 'But now . . he took a deep breath and disentangled himself, `to tell you the truth, it still scares the hell out of me, darling. Talk about hostages to fortune! I can't promise you sweetness and light all the way, love. I can't change my basic nature at this late stage . .

  `I'm not exactly an angel to live with myself, Greg. In fact I'm told I have a very mean right hook.' Her eyes danced with mischief. 'At least when you start snarling at me again, I know it will be with love.'